Author Interview: David Perlmutter

"To Hell with Dante" is a collection of cynical afterlife stories, ranging from comedic genius to dark surrealism.  To help kick off this fine anthology, I'll be conducting interviews with many of the contributors.  Today I'm interviewing David Perlmutter, the prolific author who contributed the story "Fangirl, Rip, and the Devil's Daughter."  Thank you for being here, David.

MTI: Starting off, could you tell our readers a little bit about yourself?

DAVID PERLMUTTER:  -I was born in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada in 1980. I have never lived anywhere else in my life.

-My principle interest in popular culture is animation, particularly of the kind produced for television. This is the subject of my recently published first non-fiction book, “America ‘Toons In”, which is now available from McFarland and Company. Those people who have been following my fiction will know that it has also been strongly influenced by this art form.

-I also have strong affections for African American music and speculative fiction, and plan to pursue historical research in those areas as well.

-I graduated from the University of Winnipeg with a bachelor’s degree in history in 2003, and in 2010 earned a master’s degree in that discipline. Currently, I am studying in the Library/IT program at Red River College, so that I will become more professionally qualified to pursue my desired “day job” of Library Technician.

-I have published close to a hundred short stories, novellas and essays in various magazines and anthologies since 2009.

 -I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome as a child, and am actively involved with the community related to this disorder in Winnipeg and Manitoba.

MTI:  Now, getting down to business; what first compelled you to weave fiction, and what's your favorite type of story to write?

DP: -Mostly, it was the usual aspiring writer’s desire to tell stories better than the ones I was being told. Both aspiring and professional writers are better able to see the flaws in the narratives created by other people, and this empowers us to attempt to do better with our stories. I have been doing this privately for most of my life, and discovering that you can get paid to do it convinced me that this was something I could do as a full-time job, if possible.

-I have several different types. A great many of my characters are anthropomorphic animals, for example, which stems from me being exposed to so much of these kinds of narratives as a child and now through animation. This also inspired my interest in superhero narratives, space operas, narratives involving kids and teenagers, and especially in humor. Generally, these kinds of stories all have firm narrative expectations and ideals behind them, and, given that I have versed myself well in all of these areas, they generally come naturally to me when I try to write my own pieces.

  

MTI:  Tell me, if you had to pick just one author who has influenced or inspired you, who would it be?

DP: -Robert Bloch. He was much, much more than just “Psycho”, but people tend to only give him credit for that. Or for being a disciple of H.P. Lovecraft, even though he outgrew that influence quickly. I became an admirer of him through reading reissues of his old pulp fiction stories, which are all very good. He was particularly adept at juxtaposing humor and horror, which most of his contemporaries never bothered to do. You can see his influence over me that way in stories like “Fangirl.” But, above all, he was a principled man who never sold out himself or his work for a quick buck, and he managed to spend most of his working life as a professional writer in various media at a time when it was very, very hard to do that. In all these respects, he’s been a very important role model for me. 

MTI:  Your story, Fangirl, Rip, and the Devil's Daughter, appears in To Hell with Dante.  Tell us a little bit about that.  What's the general idea behind it?

DP:  -This story stems from a few of my interests and concerns. Firstly, it reflects a sort of nostalgia on my part from an older way of storytelling I encountered in reading pulp fiction and watching a lot of old Hollywood movies. Before World War II, a lot of these stories were predicated on having two guys, usually stereotypical soldier-of-fortune types, travelling the world and having adventures, chiefly using only their brains and wits to get out of difficulty, although skill with weaponry and fisticuffs was never ruled out. Sometimes they would get into the situations by accident, other times on purpose. As with my interest in animation (which draws on a lot of this narrative protocol, by the way) and humor, this was a situation I felt I could adapt to my own uses. As I have. My Jefferson Ball series, for example. Basically, the storyline boils down to: put the heroes in the scenario, bring the villain in, and then get the heroes out and the villain punished, one way or another. I can do that, and I have, many times. 

-Another is my general desire to empower marginalized people, which is much more acceptable and commonplace today than it once was. As a person with Asperger’s syndrome, for example, I am dismayed much of the time by how the disorder is portrayed, as it is often confused with Autism although it is nothing at all like it. People with Asperger’s are essentially the same as “neurotypical” people, save for the odd mental tic that is considered “eccentric”, an extreme attention to detail, and a very thorough interest in things that others do not consider very “important’ in the grand scheme of things. We should not be punished for being “different”, because sometimes being “different” helps prevent you from going along with the “program”, and exposing the “program” for being the con game it often is.

   That being said, I was often placed in the position at school of needing extra assistance and training in order to fulfill my academic obligations. In the process, I got to meet a number of peers with far worse physical and mental disabilities than my own, and to admire them for being able to persevere in spite of them.

-So this is where Morgan and Rip come from, respectively. Morgan has Asperger’s, but, with exceptional areas, she doesn’t let it bother or contain her, as I have gradually learned how to do over my life dealing with it. I drew somewhat on my own thought patterns and feelings for her, although some aspects, by necessity, had to be feminized. The same with Rip. She was named in honor of Robert Ripley, the creator of “Ripley’s Believe It Or Not”, whom I learned a great deal about reading Neal Thompson’s excellent biography of him from a couple years back. Ripley had buck teeth just like Rip (in the days before braces, though), and some other physical issues besides, but he managed to become a globe-trotting adventurer, a radio and film personality, a skilled artist, a champion handball player and a womanizing playboy. I imagine that’s how Rip sees herself, potentially, as well, especially the latter category. But there’s also, I think, a great deal of Rocky and Bullwinkle (whom I idolize!) in there as well, as there is with a lot of my series characters.

-One last thing is that we should be free to show kids acting on their own and dealing with things on their own in media directed towards them, especially in this age of helicopter parenting. If you show them that they can do things and give them good, admirable role models by which to do them from, they won’t have any problems doing it for themselves. This is what I keep in mind with my kid and teenage series characters, at all times.           

MTI:  Does your story hold any special significance, perhaps seeking to provoke some thoughts about the afterlife, or was it just a lot of fun fiction?

DP: -It’s not meant to be any sort of serious Dantean speculation on the afterlife- he already did that a long time ago. When I came up with Morgan and Rip, I needed to have them fight somebody (or, more properly, some thing), or the story would have no point. I had written an earlier story about the devil’s daughter coming to Earth, and enjoyed writing it, so I thought, why not use her again?

MTI:  Okay, on a totally unrelated note, if you could meet and talk with any one deceased person, who would it be?

DP:  -Martin Luther King, Jr. I get chills up my spine listening to him talk, which I hardly get from anyone speaking today. Plus, his political philosophy has always been very much in line with mine. I would have gotten a thrill meeting the man behind the iconic image, which, sadly, isn’t possible anymore.

MTI:  Shifting back to your writing, can you tell us a little about what you're working on right now?

DP:  -I have completed the manuscript of my first novel, “Orthicon; or, the History of a Bad Idea,” and am currently seeking a home for it. It took over ten years to finish, so I hope the waiting will not be in vain. I have also had a publisher interested in a novel with my canine series characters Sticks and Bones, provided I can deliver the manuscript by fall 2015. I continue to develop short stories at a regular pace, especially for all the speculative anthologies listed at Duotrope and Ralan. On the non-fiction side, I have been asked to contribute to an upcoming encyclopedia of animation, and am planning to write other, longer works in that field, including an encyclopedic work of my own.  

MTI:  Other than your piece appearing in To Hell with Dante, do you have any other stories being published in the near future?

DP:  -I am waiting for word from some publishers about upcoming anthology publications. Since so many of my acceptances are for “when filled” anthologies, you can never tell when that is going to be. However, I always make sure to tell my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Tumblr followers when that happens, to keep them in the loop. 

MTI:  On a lighter note, have you watched any good tv lately?

DP:  -I haven’t had much time as of late, but I’ve PVRed a ton. I am particularly looking forward to looking at two animated shows, “Wander Over Yonder” and “The 7D”, from Disney, that I’ve already heard good things about.

MTI:  How about music?

DP: -Nothing terribly new. I have stacks of CDs at home, lined up like canned goods in a bomb shelter, and usually the music in them is decades old, because I prefer it that way. However, I will put in a good word for Monkeyjunk, a blues trio from Ottawa whose sound I very much enjoy.

MTI:  What are three of your favorite movies?  You know, the ones that never get old.

DP:  The three that leap to mind immediately are “Blazing Saddles”, “In The Heat Of The Night”, and “The Powerpuff Girls Movie.” The common thread between them is: never judge a book by its cover. The protagonists all have to deal with a lot of crap because they look different than the “white” establishment, or are able to do things “normal” people can’t do, but they more than prove their worth by the last reel. Both Mel Brooks and Craig McCracken are extremely underrated in my worldview, and need to be appreciated much more for what is being said under the surface in their stories than what’s on top. Likewise with Norman Jewison, although the fact that he’s gotten the Irving G. Thalberg Award- given only to a select few producers- says that Hollywood, at least, got what he was trying to do. (And he’s a fellow Canadian, besides!).

MTI:  Of course, writers are some of the most voracious readers these days.  Tell me, have you run across any great pieces of literature lately?

DP:  I read most every new speculative fiction anthology that comes out as soon as I can, especially at the pro level, and I am impressed at the superb level of content in the stories that is always there. I hope the editors of these things will ultimately judge me worthy of being part of the exalted company they always manage to assemble. 

MTI:  You have the attention of potential readers.  Do you have any words of wisdom to share with them, or possibly a sales pitch to encourage them to read more of your writing?

DP:  I cannot really offer words of wisdom, as I am merely a fallible human being. However, I will encourage readers to seek out anything I have written. And not at all simply for the financial benefits that may possibly accrue to me. I don’t write purely for that reason in any form or fashion, for that is simply crass. What I want readers (and especially editors) to view me as is the same way that I view Robert Bloch: as a reliable, trustworthy source of knowledge and/or entertainment whose is always willing and able to give them exactly what they want, and to never disappoint them in any single way.  

Of course, readers love free samples, so let's give them a taste.  Here are the first few paragraphs of your story, as featured in To Hell with Dante:

            They seemed, to the outside viewer’s eyes, to simply be two otherwise normal fourteen year old girls who appeared oddly mismatched, given the great disparity in their physical appearances and sizes. The only thing they really had in common was the fact that they were wearing the same kind of T-shirts, corduroys, and flip-flops favored by most of their peers during summer—which was what season it happened to be at that moment. An outsider might further assume that, given the fact that the smaller one of the pair was falling behind her larger friend like a puppy struggling to keep up with its mother, that their personal relationship was similarly distorted.

            Nothing could be further from the truth. They had been close friends almost from their natal days, and had evolved a close, almost sisterly bond that had endured, in spite of the brickbats that life had thrown them. For both of them, those brickbats were many.

            The taller of the pair, Morgan Robertson, possessed a spindly, gangly form and a height of over six feet, which would have aided her immensely had she been athletically inclined. In terms of her bodily appearance, she was what was known vulgarly among her male peers as a “hottie.” Her head was crowned by a mop of luxurious red hair with a chestnut accent, which she always kept in a precise 1920s style bob to avoid it getting in her face. That face featured electric blue eyes, a snub nose, a cupid’s-bow mouth, and red full lips, which was good for getting boys to notice her—which, given her extreme level of personal shyness, was disconcerting to her. She was “average” only in her breast size. Such objects were not of Jayne Mansfield proportions, but just large enough, along with her face, to prevent her from being mistaken for a boy. Which is how she preferred it.

            However, Morgan was not part of the high school social spectrum you might assume was the case. This was because of two factors. She was challenged with Asperger’s syndrome, which resulted in her frequently thinking and acting “weird” in the eyes of most of her classmates. She would have uncomfortable bouts of rage and/or sadness at inopportune moments, which made her dangerously unpredictable. Whether attributable to her being an “Aspie,” a girl, or both, these extreme displays meant that Morgan spent more than her fair share of time alone, as is the sad fate of most people with this condition.

            Morgan found solace, as many Aspies do, in immersing herself in something to the point of full blown obsession. This particular thing was science fiction and its fantasy and horror brethren, not just the literature but the films and TV shows as well. She obsessed herself to the extent that she became convinced that everything depicted in these works was conceivably real, from the characters to the imaginary worlds in which they existed. Of course, this had expected drawbacks. More than once, anyone she tried to make conversation with about her favorite things would angrily get up and walk away, especially if they were a fellow girl. The particularly insensitive ones of that species went so far as to spread ugly rumors about her sexuality, so that none of their male counterparts would even come close to dating her.

            It was in these, the ugliest moments of her life, and other extracurricular moments, that Morgan found comfort in the company of her best friend, who was even more of a target for the mean girls and bullies than Morgan herself was. For good reason.

            Roberta Ripley, known to her best friend simply as “Rip,” was the polar opposite of her friend physically. Where Morgan was blessed with both beauty and brains, Rip possessed only brains to aid her in life. The rest of her was less prepossessing. Born premature, she was weakened by an uncorrected club foot, which required her to get around on a cane on a full-time basis. Her facial features included a harelip, horrifically crooked teeth no braces could fix, misshapen, multi-jointed arms and legs, a bulbous nose, two differently colored eyes, and a squat but emaciated torso. With the addition of a braying, nearly masculine voice, she was a vision of clock-stopping homeliness. However, Rip made up for her physical shortcomings by being resourceful and intelligent in her words and deeds. In spite of their obvious physical differences, she and Morgan hit it off from kindergarten on, in part because Rip possessed an appetite for speculative media rivaling Morgan’s, and a similar “true believer” faith in the idea that it could be “true.” The relationship between them further developed in elementary and middle school, when Rip defended Morgan verbally against the social fallout caused by Morgan’s Asperger-derived displays of temper and anguish, and Morgan, in turn, used her size and physical strength to defend Rip physically from bullies.

            This “info dump” is necessary, despite being somewhat long winded, in order that you, the reader, may understand the circumstances of this narrative. For Morgan and Rip’s faith in the realistic existence of the supernatural forces of the universe—and each other—would prove to be the one thing able to save the Earth from destruction by the forces of Hell itself.

MTI:  Thank you, David, for that insightful interview.  Those who want to read the rest of his story, and 20 other cynical afterlife tales, can pick up To Hell with Dante.

Author Interview: Colin Fisher

"To Hell with Dante" is a collection of cynical afterlife stories, ranging from comedic genius to dark surrealism.  To help kick off this fine anthology, I'll be conducting interviews with many of the contributors.  Today I'm interviewing Colin Fisher, the talented author who contributed the story "The Early Shift."  Thank you for being here, Colin.

COLIN FISHER:  Thanks for asking me!

MTI:  Starting off, could you tell our readers a little bit about yourself?

CF:  Sure. I live on the outskirts of London, England, and manage finance systems for a living. It isn’t hugely stressful, which is great because I’m a firm believer in keeping the work / life balance tipped in my favour. Before that I managed bookshops, which was a lot more fun but less ideal for keeping the wolf from the door. I’m married to a wonderful wife, and have two fantastic (and grown up) children – and they probably wouldn’t thank me for calling them children! My first love is archaeology, that’s what I’m qualified in, but never made any serious efforts to make a profession out of it.

MTI:  Now, getting down to business; what first compelled you to weave fiction, and what's your favorite type of story to write?

CF:  That’s an interesting question, and strangely not one I’ve ever thought about. I’ve been obsessed with telling stories ever since I was a child. I would make up stories to tell my older brother when I was probably no older than 5 or 6, and as soon as I learned to write I wanted to set them down on paper, or write sequels to my favourite novels. I’ve no idea where that came from. No-one else in my family tried writing, neither my parents nor my brother. My mother is a voracious reader, though, and I certainly picked that up. When I was growing up I would also play long, solitary games in purely imaginary worlds. I liked nothing better to escape into our spare room and create elaborate adventures with whatever toys seemed most suitable. I think storytelling is just an extension of that.

MTI:  Tell me, if you had to pick just one author who has influenced or inspired you, who would it be?

CF:  Well, this is a nightmare question, I can’t possible pick one! I’ll set aside the obvious – Tolkien, who I read obsessively from about the age of nine – and try and pick someone else that filled my childhood with magic, because I’m a firm believer that the books we read when children are the most important of all. So, either Alan Garner for his vision and sense of place, or Susan Cooper, because The Dark is Rising is pretty much my perfect ‘English’ fantasy novel.

MTI:  Your story, The Early Shift, appears in To Hell with Dante, tell us a little bit about that.  What's the general idea behind it?

CF:  I’d previously written a story in which a psychopath uses a magical grimoire to summon a diabolical entity. After I’d written it, I found myself interested in the origin of the creature. Where did it come from? Are all these demons and devils just sitting around, waiting for mortals to undertake a ritual or sell their souls? Don’t they have anything better to do? That’s where the idea for the Exchange came from. They’re a bit like career politicians; juniors, the timeservers, go-getters. Everyone just concerned about their position. That was my starting point, although ultimately I went in a slightly different direction. I did throw in a reference to the grimoire from the first story though, as a sort of cheeky self referential nod!

MTI:  Does your story hold any special significance, perhaps seeking to provoke some thoughts about the afterlife, or was it just a lot of fun fiction?

CF:  Well, it’s mostly a lighthearted and (hopefully) fun story, but there is a serious point behind it about the nature of evil. That oft quoted banality, the tedious and casual  routine of efficient slaughter, and the mindset that creates. Also, the nonsense of viewing people you’re screwing over as ‘customers’ was something I found somewhat relevant as well. There were lots of angles I could have taken, but I didn’t want to labour the point or detract from the humour. It’s not meant to be a horror story, even though it might give you pause for thought.

MTI:  Okay, on a totally unrelated note, if you could meet and talk with any one deceased person, who would it be?

CF:  I’m most fascinated by outsiders, people who live their life completely in the service of their own vision, with little regard to conventional morality, the opinion of society, or the consequences of their actions. I’m not really interested in kings, plenipotentiaries or potentates. So, someone like Shelley for his impractical romanticism, sense of injustice and total disregard for contemporary mores. Or Jack Parsons, for so comprehensively uniting science and magic in his actions and imagination. Or one of the early English Antiquarians, like John Aubrey or William Stukely, for being the first to recognise the value of heritage and ancient sites, and taking the effort to travel the country recording it.

Gosh, I’m really no good at this ‘picking one thing’ lark, am I? One person? Ok, forget the ‘not interested in Kings’ thing. King Arthur, whoever and whatever he was. For being the only legendary figure where we can possibly reach back through the mist to the person behind it. Was he a Romanised Briton holding the fragments of a crumbling province together? A Celtic resistance fighter? A pre-Roman leader? Actually, whatever he was, he probably wasn’t a king, so that still holds.

MTI:  Great answer!  I'd love to know the "true" King Arthur, too.  Shifting back to your writing, can you tell us a little about what you're working on right now?

CF:  Sure. I’m trying to get my head around a children’s book at the moment. I wanted to attempt something in the vein of the authors mentioned above, sort of ‘rural fantasy’ as opposed to urban fantasy, which is bandwaggoning (NB – possibly not a real word) at such an alarming rate I’m not sure I’d have much to add to it, even though I really enjoy the genre. I have my characters, but they’re currently somewhat directionless, and having just moved house I haven’t had the time over the summer to devote the attention that it will need. I’m also working on an adult story about the theft of a family heirloom which will tie into the children’s book, hopefully. Plus an sf short which I’ve been working on for about eighteen months. Unfortunately, I haven’t done myself any favours with the subject – it’s about a young genius, which means that for every page I write I have to do four hours research to make it sound even vaguely convincing, since I’m neither young nor a genius.

MTI:  Other than your piece appearing in To Hell with Dante, do you have any other stories being published in the near future?

CF:  I have a couple of stories forthcoming from Fringeworks Press here in the UK. A couple of years ago they published a Christmas themed horror collection, ‘Ain’t No Sanity Clause’, that I had a story in. Contributors were invited to a follow up, ‘Sanity Clause is Coming’, which is in layout at the moment and should be out at the beginning of November. My story is called ‘The Escape Goat’, and takes place during a school nativity play. That one’s definitely not light hearted! Further off… Fringeworks are also publishing a set of three books in their Grimm series called Red, Black and White, each themed around a single well known fairy tale (Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, and Snow White). Mine is ‘Snow White, Throat White’ and will be in volume three. It’s not really about Snow White at all actually, so I’m surprised it was accepted. It was more about trying to devise a realistic (well, as realistic as fantasy gets) canvas for the story – ‘how would this work in reality.’ At one time my notes on the political machinations of the various kingdoms covered more pages than the story itself. I’m looking forward to the Red volume the most, as my daughter has a superb story in it. Finally, although I haven’t contributed a story, I am editing a collection of reimagined fairy tales for the same publisher, which is called Grimm and Grimmer vol 3. We’re trying something a bit different as it will include an academic essay on the Brothers Grimm and their cultural milieu, so we’ll have to see how that goes. That should be out in a month or so.

MTI:  On a lighter note, have you watched any good tv lately?

CF:  It’s such an amazing time for tv, an explosion of talent and creativity. Some of the genre shows I’m watching are Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Doctor Who (which has always been my favourite), and Once Upon A Time, and I’m looking forward to the new series of American Horror Story. On top of that True Detective was amazing, an astonishing synergy of script and performance. Last year I was gripped by Top of the Lake, a New Zealand set drama by Jane Campion, and I’m also really looking forward to the third series of the Danish / Swedish crime drama The Bridge. There are almost too many to keep up with, so I have to really pick and choose.

MTI:  How about music?

CF:  I guess I’d say I’m a rock fan at heart, but do have fairly eclectic tastes. As a rule, I don’t listen to a lot of blues, but I recently saw the Blues Pills at an instore in London, and they blew me away. Really great. But then, there’s so much great music. I love Porcupine Tree – ‘In Absentia’ was probably the best album of the 2000s for me – but they’re currently on a sabbatical while their leader Steven Wilson develops his solo career with similarly extraordinary albums. Wolf People are great, I love the whole psych rock / folk thing. The last Nightwish album was incredible. I never thought they’d top their work with Tarja Turunen, but Imaginaerum was just superb. Suede’s comeback album Blood Sports was fantastic, I’ve seen them a couple of times since it was released and they’re so cool. If I had to name one highlight of the last few years though, it would be Dead Can Dance. I never thought I’d get the chance to see them – their reunion tour in 2005 sold out in about five minutes, but a couple of years ago they announced a new album and tour, and we finally got to see them. The whole thing was sublime, almost spiritual. The sort of thing that sends shivers down your spine.

MTI:  What are three of your favorite movies?  You know, the ones that never get old.

CF:  If I was stranded somewhere with no hope of rescue and only an HD tv for company I’d go for Alien, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, and… something funny. It would be a toss up between Carry On Screaming, Monty Python’s The Holy Grail, or In the Loop. Or maybe Duck Soup. There you go. I can’t even stick to ‘pick three things.’

What I find interesting about all of them, and about every film that withstands multiple viewings, is that the salient element, whether that’s horror, or excitement or humour, or even the setting, just doesn’t – as you say – get old. It’s always there. Every time. Whatever that is, that’s the secret of a great movie. Those books you read again and again have it too.

MTI:  Of course, writers are some of the most voracious readers these days.  Tell me, have you run across any great pieces of literature lately?

CF:  I’m just as likely to be reading non-fiction to be honest – a great piece of history or biography can have all the narrative pull of a compelling story. But if I had to limit myself to fiction… I loved Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon, for its unbeatable air of Gothic romance and use of language. Then The Sisters Brothers by Patrick deWitt was pretty much a cover to cover read. Terrific story, atmosphere and characterisation. Anything by Michael Gruber, but particularly Tropic of Night. Terrifying, brutal and evocative. Company of Liars by Karen Maitland. The 14^th Century has never been so chillingly portrayed. A modern Chaucer that builds to a doom laden and horrific denoument. I’m currently working my way through the Burton and Swinburne stories by Mark Hodder. So far, I’d put them on the top of the modern Steampunk pack, which is a genre I’ve loved ever since The Anubis Gates. For horror, standouts I’ve read of late would be House of Small Shadows by Adam Nevill and The Terror by Dan Simmons. The former manages to combine the creepy olde English ambience of strange pagan ceremonies and crumbling villages with the pure visceral ghastliness of 70s horror films produced by the likes of Amicus and Tigon, whilst the latter – very different - is a fictional reconstruction of the fate of the Franklin Expedition, in which the crews of the two ships meet their fate at the hands of horrors both natural and unnatural. It’s an incredible, sustained assault on the reader’s peace of mind, and the book seems imbued with a palpable air of nightmarish torpor and frigidity from start to finish.

MTI:  You have the attention of potential readers.  Do you have any words of wisdom to share with them, or possibly a sales pitch to encourage them to read more of your writing?

CF:  I try not to offer words of wisdom, it seems to me advice is so often context sensitive and if you don’t know the situation of the person in every particular you probably shouldn’t presume to provide it. Having said that – and I’m sure you could echo this – but since having started editing I’m astonished at the number of submissions I get that are guilty of quite basic mistakes. Things that you could avoid if you made even the most cursory investigation of writers’ blogs or online columns or workshops. So, for writers, alongside the usual ‘read books’ I’d add ‘read articles.’ Because chances are that not only has someone made the same mistakes you’re making, but someone else has provided some good tips for avoiding them. As an example, the Snow White story I mentioned above has a lengthy action sequence. I wasn’t very happy with it – it wasn’t the kind of thing I normally did, and it was unsatisfactory in a way that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. So I researched ‘action sequences’, and understood what it was I was getting wrong. I rewrote what I had three or four times, paring it right down to the minimum of what it needed. After that, it might not have been great, but it was at least competent (I hope). So, really, don’t just assume that something you’ve written is ‘good enough.’ Nothing is. A book isn’t a tv, or a pair of shoes. You don’t pay more for higher quality, and you can’t get away with something that ‘will do.’. Fight that prose to a standstill, and then, and only then, put on its hat and coat and usher it out the door.

As for sales pitch... I like to think people get something out of my stories other than the story, if that doesn’t sound counterintuitive. If writing makes people feel a certain way, then it’s great writing. Whatever you conjure, and whatever you conjure with, provides entry to a magical realm of story that we as a species are privileged to be able to experience. I spend a lot of time writing poetry, and I’d hope that whatever poetry is, the elusive, the phantasmagorical – I’d hope that filters through to my stories and their readers, and perhaps punctuates their experience with a tiny bit of magic.

MTI:  Of course, readers love free samples, so let's give them a taste.  Here are the first few paragraphs of your story, as featured in To Hell with Dante:

            Dominic turned the page with a pale, scarred finger and sighed. He couldn’t remember one word he had just read. It was a crushingly dull story in which a witless, pipe smoking detective performed improbable acts of logic in pursuit of tedious and repetitive crimes. The detective—a pompous and clearly insecure individual—only seemed to come alive when crossing wits with a succession of facile villains, after which he felt compelled to explain his native brilliance to his long suffering factotum at excruciating length. Dominic heartily wished something about his job made him feel alive. With a flick he tossed the book into the fire. It would annoy the people upstairs, and that was enough to give him a small sense of satisfaction. Pathetic. He stretched back in his armchair, and stared at the ceiling. Despite himself, he wished the phone would ring.

            The room was empty, as always, and devoid of furnishing other than the worn leather chair that Dominic sat in, the small table to his right, and the telephone that stood on it. The phone was antiquated—one of those bakelite models with a rotary dial—and he was sure he’d been given it as a joke. He hardly ever called out and when he did it went straight through to the switchboard downstairs where he would tell them what number he needed. He felt, however, that something altogether more imposing should sit at his right hand. Something better suited to his own impression of himself. Dynamic, thrusting, on the up. He grimaced. Somewhere, somehow, he’d upset someone, and this was his reward. Not for the first time, he wished he was on the Late Shift.

            He scuffed his foot on the floor. He didn’t even have a carpet, just the bare boards of the old room, and vacant walls whose wallpaper had long since peeled away, leaving grey plaster and holes ridden with wood worm and rats. The Late Shift got smartphones, tablets, and—or so he heard—double glazing. He didn’t need to look behind him at the old sash window to tell it was frosted with rime and weeping trails of ice.

Thanks again, Mr. Fisher, for that great interview.  Those who want to check out the rest of his story, and 20 other cynical afterlife stories, can pick up To Hell with Dante today!

Author Interview: Laura Sheridan

"To Hell with Dante" is a collection of cynical afterlife stories, ranging from comedic genius to dark surrealism.  To help kick off this fine anthology, I'll be conducting interviews with many of the contributors.  Today I'm interviewing Laura Sheridan, the talented author who contributed the story Second Coming.  Thank you for being here, Laura.

MTI:  Starting off, could you tell our readers a bit about yourself?

           

LS:  Founder member of Pennine Ink Writers (1983) and member also of Burnley and District Writers for ten years. I’m Vice-Chair and organise the annual writing competition for Burnley Writers. I compile and edit Pennine Ink Magazine as well as dealing with all the correspondence and organising what’s on the programme for the weekly meetings. Rather proud of myself for setting up 3 websites, teaching myself as I went along. (www.pennineink.weebly.com  www.burnley-district-writers.weebly.com  www.g-laurasheridan.weebly.com)  I also run a local reading group, as well as teaching, part-time. Married for 38 years, we have two grown-up children, one grandchild (another on the way), three cats and six goldfish.

MTI:  Now, getting down to business; what first compelled you to weave fiction, and what’s your favorite type of story to write?

LS:  Why did I start writing? I wrote a ‘novel’ in an exercise book when I was about 14. Don’t have a clue what it was about. Then, when I had children, I found I enjoyed making up stories for them. I think it developed from there. I really, really love writing. I can get absolutely absorbed in it for hours. Takes about nine months to write a novel (or have a baby!) though I did write one of my novels in about twelve weeks. Got so caught up in it that when I finished it, I felt lost and could barely speak for a day or two. As for my favourite type of story – it has to be science-fiction. And comedy. Even better if I can combine the two.   

MTI:  Tell me, if you had to pick one author who has influenced or inspired you, who would it be?

           

LS:  So many to choose from, but I think it would be Robert Silverberg – a wonderful science-fiction author. When I’m reading his novels, I find I lose myself in them so easily - and then I look up and three hours have gone. That’s the kind of effect I want to achieve.

MTI:  Your story, Second Coming, appears in To Hell with Dante. Tell us a little bit about that. What’s the general idea behind it?

LS:  It’s a tongue-in-cheek portrayal of Hell and its demons – and we find they’re just like us, really.

MTI:  Does your story hold any special significance, perhaps seeking to provoke some thoughts about the afterlife, or was it just a lot of fun fiction?

LS: I’m very interested in theories about the afterlife. Whether there is such a thing depends on what the nature or reality truly is – and that’s a very big question. But yes, this was just a bit of a laugh.

MTI:  Okay, on a totally unrelated note, if you could meet and talk with any one deceased person, who would it be?

LS:  Vincent Van Gogh. The man was a wonderfully expressive painter, though such a tortured soul and I’d love to tell him how talented he was and how much his paintings are loved and appreciated now.

MTI:  You're reminding me of that Doctor Who episode, "Vincent and the Doctor"—one of my favorites.  Now, shifting back to your writing, can you tell us a little about what you’re working on right now?

LS:  Buttana - a novel set in a small village in Sicily in the mid 20^th century. It’s about a girl who is shunned by the community because she was born out of wedlock and the friendship she makes with a very influential man. Not sci-fi and not particularly funny! But my parents were Italian/Sicilan so I’ve been wanting to write something about that for a while.

MTI:  Other than your piece appearing in To Hell with Dante, do you have any other stories being published in the near future?

LS:  I have three stories on Amazon Kindle. Two are science-fiction: Tricks of the Trade is about an alternate reality in which women are treated like cars. Sounds weird and it is, but it seems to work. To Die For is the story of a gay space venturer and his crew who take over planets without being brutal about it. The Manne of Potterye is written in the style of Chaucer but set in modern times and is the comical story of two women who fall for the same man. I also have four novels on Amazon Kindle. More about those below.

MTI:  Two women falling for the same man?  Where have I heard that one before?  On a lighter note, have you watched any good TV lately?

LS:  TV is often slated for being a time-waster, but actually, there are some brilliant programmes out there. I love all the Brian Cox science programmes and thought Neil deGrasse Tyson’s series Cosmos was breathtaking. Love Inspector Montalbano – takes me back to my Sicilian roots. I also enjoy a bit of good old Downton Abbey, Poirot and Midsomer Murders.

MTI:  Classy tastes!  How about music?

LS:  When I hear the beginning of Living in the Past with Jethro Tull’s beautiful flute-playing, I have to stop everything and listen. Love Yes as their songs are so surreal. Albatross by Fleetwood Mac has me closing my eyes and drifting along (so not good to listen to when I’m driving!!) Also love a bit of Mozart. Handel’s Water Music is so lovely it brings tears to my eyes. Rossini is exciting and energising. Figaro’s aria from The Barber of Seville is utterly thrilling. So much music to enjoy.

MTI:  What are three of your favorite movies? You know, the ones that never get old.

LS:  Ones I could watch again and again: The Godfather – all three films – compelling (and I can pick out some of the Italian phrases); Close Encounters of the Third Kind – makes me wonder how we actually will communicate with extra-terrestrials if we ever meet any: Karate Kid – the original version, not the re-make – it’s such a feel-good movie.

MTI:  Of course, writers are some of the most voracious readers these days. Tell me, have you run across any great pieces of literature lately?

LS:  I run a reading group and a couple of months ago we read Night Watch by Sarah Waters. Blew my mind. What a fantastic writer. I loved the way she organised events in the book. Another writer I’ve only just come across, oddly enough, is Stephen King. Wow, the man can write! I had him down as a mere horror-writer, in my mind a bit of a hack – and I’ve done him a great disservice. He’s an excellent writer – amongst the very best. Superb.

MTI:  You have the attention of potential readers. Do you have any words of wisdom to share with them, or possibly a sales pitch to encourage them to read more of your writing?

LS:  Words of wisdom? Not sure I have the right to counsel others, but I have found that it takes years to learn to write. It’s not easy, by any means. It’s like someone once said – to learn any skill takes about 10,000 hours. So get started. The sooner you start, the sooner you’ll finish.

            Sales pitch: I have four books on Amazon Kindle:

            Ugly Tuckling is about a fat guy called Cornelius Tuckling. He’s too self-conscious about his body to find a girlfriend…so how is it he ends up modelling nude? Why is Cornelius so shy? Why does he hate his father? What’s with his fear of dogs? It’s a comedy, but with some psychological aspects.

            Short of a Miracle is a dark comedy about a priest called O’Neill who finds himself in a parallel world. It’s a lot like ours – except that Jesus has never existed. He sets about a preaching work, but it didn’t end well for Jesus and it looks like it’s going the same way for O’Neill too. This isn’t meant to be an irreverent book at all, but may be thought-provoking.

            Martian Oddities is a young adult novel set in the future when Mars has been colonised for a couple of hundred years. Jae looks a little different from the other kids, but why? And why are the Terrans trying to kill him?

            Germination is another young adult novel in which the main character, Clove, is being chased by a murderous android. In order to escape, he has to seek help from his mother – and they don’t get on. She’s the captain of a starship and they take a zig-zag course across the galaxy, finally ending up in uncharted space – where Clove finds a form of life never before encountered.

MTI:  Of course, readers love free samples, so let’s give them a taste.  Here are the first few paragraphs of your story xxx, as featured in To Hell with Dante:

            Querios sat on the dung-hills of Hades, picking his teeth with one of the prongs of his pitchfork. The chilli burgers down here weren’t as good as they were cracked up to be and anyway, soya always gave him gas. Gone were the days when you were allowed the odd roast virgin or two. It wasn’t politically correct to eat human sacrifices any more.

            He finished his coffee and rose to his cloven hooves. As far as demon ambition went, he’d done quite well and now presided over the west wing, but he was apt to let things slide at times, especially when he was as bored as this.

            He spotted one of the hunchbacks nestling in the cooler dimness of one of the recesses. “Oy, out of there, you,” he growled, his tail lashing in a half-hearted sort of way. “Back into the fire.”

            Ach, they were snivelling little things. You’d have thought a Personage with infinite mercy would have allowed losers and misfits some leeway, wouldn’t you?  But no—He had them genetically modified, as part of their punishment.

            This particular hunchback had a nose like an elephant shrew and hooded eyes that were heavy with despondency. It scuttled obediently back into the flames, the skin on its naked arms immediately puffing out into a series of huge blisters. 

            Wasn’t much of a punishment. After fifty or so years, they all got used to it.  Look at Rasputin over there, basking on the hot coals. Occasionally, Querios passed the time jabbing sinners at random. There was a crumb of satisfaction in hearing them squeal—at least, the newer ones did. Those who’d been here a long time just watched the prongs go in with dispassionate interest, then settled down to wait for the wounds to heal.

            That was the trouble with eternal torment.  It was all the same old, same old.

Well, thank you, Laura, for that excellent interview.  Those who want to read the rest of her story, and 20 other cynical afterlife stories, can pick up To Hellwith Dante today!

Author Interview: Jeff Poole

"To Hell with Dante" is a collection of cynical afterlife stories, ranging from comedic genius to dark surrealism.  To help kick off this fine anthology, I'll be conducting interviews with many of the contributors.  Today I'm interviewing Jeff Poole, the talented author who contributed the story "Paradise for Purgatory."  Thank you for being here, Jeff.

MTI:  Starting off, could you tell our readers a little bit about yourself?

JP:  I’m a traveler, and an intermittent writer. I do many genres. I actually don’t consider myself a writer per se, not just because I don’t write a lot, but because I think I’m more of a storyteller. I’ve written a few stories I think qualify as “writing.”

MTI:  Now, getting down to business; what first compelled you to weave fiction, and what's your favorite type of story to write?

JP:  It’s fun, fun is compelling! And I don’t have a favorite type of genre to write, my favorite type of story depends on my mood. I guess “humor” is something I inject in even my darkest tales. It just finds a way in there.

MTI:  Tell me, if you had to pick just one author who has influenced or inspired you, who would it be?

JP:  It would have to be Vonnegut. And of course, Twain.

MTI:  Your story, Paradise for Purgatory, appears in To Hell with Dante.  Tell us a little bit about that.  What's the general idea behind it?

JP:  Friendship maybe, and the things our friends will confide. And I wanted to write a story that was comprised mainly of dialogue. This the most dialogue driven tale I’ve ever written. I actually wanted to violate some rules of stories that will get published.

MTI:  Does your story hold any special significance, perhaps seeking to provoke some thoughts about the afterlife, or was it just a lot of fun fiction?

JP:  I was just imagining a conversation one day out of the blue and just went with it.

MTI:  Okay, on a totally unrelated note, if you could meet and talk with any one deceased person, who would it be?

JP:  Mark Twain. Oh yeah. If not him, then maybe Edgar Allan Poe. I’ll bet we could really tie one on together.

MTI:  Mr. Clemens seems to be a popular choice.  Now, shifting back to your writing, can you tell us a little about what you're working on right now?

JP:  Acting. I’m trying to become an actor. I recently became SAG eligible from a role in an upcoming TV series I’m not allowed to discuss until the first episode airs. I need to write something though. Maybe turn one of my shorts into a script. I did do that with a story I had published in “Musings.” Subtly funny tale that I got paid more for as a reprint than for it’s original publishing. Odd that. But I don’t know what I’ll do with it.

MTI:  Fascinating.  Other than your piece appearing in To Hell with Dante, do you have any other stories being published in the near future?

JP:  Plan B Magazine published my story “Afterwards,” and is doing a podcast of my story and the others from issue IV. That should be out soon.

MTI:  On a lighter note, have you watched any good tv lately?

JP:  True Detective, Walking Dead. The Strain is interesting. I miss Breaking Bad.

MTI:  How about music?

JP:  A lot of John Mayer, and Steve Earle lately. Old Clapton, James McMurtry, and even some ACDC when Bon Scott was their vocalist. Classical as well. I always throw on Nirvana once in a while to remind myself of how grateful I am to them for booting those awful hair bands off the radio by making them passé’

MTI:  What are some of your favorite movies?  You know, the ones that never get old.

JP:  Well I like “Noir” and “SciFi.” favorite movies change, but “Blade Runner” is always there. An awesome mix of Noir and SciFi. And “Alien.” A great monster movie disguised as Science Fiction. I think I’ll always love “Dazed and Confused,” because it really covers my so called “era of growing up.” But the film “”Rendition” and “Waking the Dead.” That last for the scene in it where Billy Crudup’s character loses it in the most convincing scene of it’s kind I’ve ever seen anyone do.

MTI:  Of course, writers are some of the most voracious readers these days.  Tell me, have you run across any great pieces of literature lately?

JP:  I’m not reading enough good books or short stories lately. Thanks for reminding me. And I’ve been memorizing a lot of scripts and doing auditions, so my reading has generally been light fun, fare so to speak.

MTI:  You have the attention of potential readers.  Do you have any words of wisdom to share with them, or possibly a sales pitch to encourage them to read more of your writing?

JP:  Oh christ, if you like it please read some more, but every story will be different. Maybe even written in a different way. I like to play with styles.

MTI:  Of course, readers love free samples, so let's give them a taste.  Here are the first few paragraphs of your story, as featured in To Hell with Dante:

            “How would you get someone to trade paradise for purgatory?” Mark asked.

             Mark Hammond and Bill Sheffield were lounging in the outdoor patio at the Cowgirl Bar and grill in downtown Santa Fe. They’d been sitting in a self imposed silence. Bill was taken off guard by the question. His thoughts had been centered on the redheaded waitress walking away from their table after taking their order.

            “What?”
            “If you met the Devil, you’d have to assume there’s some kind of life after death, right? Why take a crappy eternity for a short time in bliss? It’s like your girlfriend says it’s okay for you to hang out with your friends all afternoon, drinking beer and watching football. It sounds good, but you know you’ll have to spend the next weekend at her aunt Zelda’s, doing yard work.”

            Bill picked up his beer, and stared over his glass at Mark for a moment. “You can’t come up with a better analogy than that? I mean, we’re talking about the hereafter.”

            “Sorry, it’s all I got.”

            “Where you going with this?”

            “Maybe the devil’s like this cosmic pusher. He gives you a little taste, just enough to tempt you into making the deal.”

            Bill took a sip of his IPA. “What deal are we talking about here, Mark?”

            Mark leaned back into his chair before replying, “You won’t believe me.”

Thank you, Jeff, for this most interesting interview.  For those who want to read more of his story, along with 20 other cynical afterlife tales, To Hell with Dante awaits!

Author Interview: Sonny Zae

"To Hell with Dante" is a collection of cynical afterlife stories, ranging from comedic genius to dark surrealism.  To help kick off this fine anthology, I'll be conducting interviews with many of the contributors.  Today I'm interviewing Sonny Zae, the talented author who contributed the story "Beelze-Bubba."  Thank you for being here, Sonny.

MTI: Starting off, could you tell our readers a little bit about yourself?

ZAE: Getting to where I currently am required much hard work and pain—mostly for my family and people around me, as I don't have the time for such drudgery.  My efforts are directed at appreciating all of the finer things in life, and without expending too much effort in the process.  Naturally, telling stories would be an ideal way for me to make a living.

MTI:  Now, getting down to business; what first compelled you to weave fiction, and what's your favorite type of story to write?

ZAE: My favorite fiction is anything that strikes me at the time.  What first compelled me to weave fiction was getting caught with the farmer's daughter.  I had to do some fast talking to avoid getting speared with a pitchfork.  From that experience, I learned a roll in the hay can find many burrs.  And I learned to be creative and even prepare a story or two beforehand, just in case.

MTI:  Tell me, if you had to pick just one author who has influenced or inspired you, who would it be?

ZAE:  Patrick McManus, who writes tall tales of hunting and fishing and outdoor life.  His stories are sly and exaggerated, like mine (though I am not claiming he copies my style), and his main characters are often quite clueless as they bumble through various difficult situations.

MTI:  Your story, Beelze-Bubba, appears in To Hell with Dante.  Tell us a little bit about that.  What's the general idea behind it?

ZAE:  If Satan has family, it would be his own personal form of hell.  And family members as employees might be the most painful form of torture.

MTI:  Does your story hold any special significance, perhaps seeking to provoke some thoughts about the afterlife, or was it just a lot of fun fiction?

ZAE:  If it will sell copies and bring me money, my story is a deep, serious statement about how everyone, even the Prince of Darkness, has family, and family that brings both joy and tribulation.  But if not, it is just a silly story about a doofus in bib overalls.

MTI:  Okay, on a totally unrelated note, if you could meet and talk with any one deceased person, who would it be?

ZAE: Mark Twain.  I admire his ability to make great piles of money through exaggeration and story-telling.  I have a natural talent for embellishment, but so far the talent hasn't paid off for me, including in careers as diverse as stock trading, law, teaching, and politics.  I am told I would be a natural at telemarketing, but picking up and putting down a telephone all day sounds rather tiring, and I have not yet been so desperate for money to debase myself by begging money from strangers.

MTI:  Shifting back to your writing, can you tell us a little about what you're working on right now?

ZAE:  I am working on the second book in a fantasy series, the follow up to "Wizard Seeking Trophy Bride."  It is untitled as yet.  In the second book, Sonny the Scoundrel, Grandpap the wizard, and Griselda Gruts, giantess and Grandpap's trophy bride, are persuaded by BeSotto the sop wizard to help reclaim Grandpap's alchemy wand, which BeSotto secretly recreated.  BeSotto mixed up a good strong drink to celebrate, stirring it with the alchemy wand, whereupon a portal opened to another land.  In his surprise, BeSotto dropped the wand through the portal and needs Grandpap's help to recover it.  But when they crawl through the portal, it closes, leaving their small party stranded in a strange land of redneck magic.  They must find the alchemy wand to return home, and they do not know what perils they will have to face to get their hands on the wand.

MTI:  Other than your piece appearing in To Hell with Dante, do you have any other stories being published in the near future?

ZAE:  My fantasy novella "The Adventures of Sonny the Scoundrel, Love Elixir Antidote" will be published in the near future by Roane Publishing.

MTI:  On a lighter note, have you watched any good tv lately?

ZAE:  I love the Simpsons.  Homer is my personal hero, sleeping at work and at all other times having fun and wild adventures, without any concern for the fun or safety of others.

MTI:  How about music?

ZAE:  My favorite music is Yoko Ono music, especially those songs where she screeches and reaches impossibly high notes.  I developed an affinity for her singing at my dentist's office, of all places.  I discovered it to be most soothing and relaxing—and drowns out the sound of the dentist's drill most effectively.

MTI:  What are three of your favorite movies?  You know, the ones that never get old.

ZAE:  Naked Gun, Top Secret, and Hot Shots.

MTI:  Of course, writers are some of the most voracious readers these days.  Tell me, have you run across any great pieces of literature lately?

ZAE:  I love anything by Alastair Reynolds, a prolific and fantastic science fiction writer.  I am reading old and new science fiction books by Larry Niven lately, and recently discovered Robin Hobb in the world of fantasy.

MTI:  You have the attention of potential readers.  Do you have any words of wisdom to share with them, or possibly a sales pitch to encourage them to read more of your writing?

ZAE:  Writing is fun.  What is more, it is relatively easy.  Unlike in my past teaching and legal careers, in writing one can make up the most outrageous things and no one will question you.  Surprisingly, this never helped me in trying to obtain political office.  People kept demanding that I provide proof of my educational degrees, as if one would simply make up claims of graduating from all the finest Ivy League schools.

MTI:  Of course, readers love free samples, so let's give them a taste.  Here are the first few paragraphs of your story, as featured in To Hell with Dante:

            Tweege rapped on the doorframe.  "Uh, sir?"

            The Prince of Darkness looked up from his papers.  "What?"

            Tweege gestured behind himself with a pointed black hoof.  "I brought someone you should meet."

            "Can't you see I'm busy?" Satan snapped.  "How will I finish my paperwork if minions keep interrupting me?  Handle the problem yourself!"

            Tweege took a step back, but didn't leave.  "This is... um... a personal problem, oh Exalted Master of Evil, Destroyer of Worlds."  Tweege bowed low, speaking toward the black obsidian of the floor.  "It's a problem of your own making."

            "My making?"  The Prince of Darkness placed his quill pen carefully in its asbestos tray after shaking off a last drop of blazing ink.  "Very well.  Who is it?"

            Tweege stepped into the room, tugging at a young man who followed him.  "This is Bubba Backfatt."

            Lucifer stroked his thick, dark goatee as he inspected the guest, then curled his lip in disgust.  "He's fat and hairy and... and disgusting to behold! Clearly, an inferior specimen.  Why did you bring him here naked, Tweege?  Are you trying to make me ill?"

            The demon bowed again, but not as deeply this time.  "It is the policy you yourself made, oh Great and Matchless Deceiver."

            "Don't hide behind the rules, Tweege!"  Lucifer's long, elegant red fingers curled slowly and the demon gasped in pain.  "Remember the first and only rule—I make the rules."  Lucifer's mouth pulled up into a wicked smile.  "But enough pleasantries.  Who is this Bubble fellow, and why is he important to me?"

"His name is Bubba, lord, not Bubble."  Tweege bared his pointed teeth in an attempted grin.  "He's a new arrival, my lord—and your son."

MTI:  Many thanks to Sonny Zae for this insightful interview.  For those who want to read more of his story, and many other funny and thoughtful stories, get a copy of To Hell With Dante today!

Author Interview: Ed Ahern

And we're back!  After a two month hiatus, I am pleased to return to the blogging world, and with a new series of author interviews!  The new Martinus Publishing anthology, "To Hell with Dante," was released last week, and to help spread the word about this collection I'll be interviewing many of the authors who contributed to it.  Today I'm interviewing Ed Ahern, the talented author who contributed the story "Arabesque."  Thank you for being here, Ed.

MTI:  Starting off, could you tell our readers a little bit about yourself?

ED AHERN: Asking a septuagenarian to talk about himself is stepping into a pit trap. In brief calendar order I was a university student, naval officer specializing in diving and bomb disarming, newspaper reporter, intelligence officer in Germany and Japan, sales and marketing executive ( for a really long time) and fiction writer. Original wife, two kids, five grand kids.

MTI:  Now, getting down to business; what first compelled you to weave fiction, and what's your favorite type of story to write?

ED: My story ideas are haphazard. Usually genre- fantasy, horror and science fiction, but  I sometimes elevate my game and write modern children's fairy tales and retold folk tales, or degenerate into literary fiction. Short answer: it depends.

MTI:  Tell me, if you had to pick just one author who has influenced or inspired you, who would it be?

ED:  A trick question. I go through reading phases that sometimes last years, and in each phase have a favorite writer. Ditto for each genre. The acid question I guess is which author have I reread the most: J.R.R. Tolkein.

MTI:  Your story, Arabesque, appears in To Hell with Dante.  Tell us a little bit about that.  What's the general idea behind it?

ED:  I write a lot of dark, "Woe is us" stuff" and take mental health breaks by writing humor or children's stories. "Arabesque" is about as light a take as I could think of about death and the hereafter.

MTI:  Does your story hold any special significance, perhaps seeking to provoke some thoughts about the afterlife, or was it just a lot of fun fiction?

ED:  The inner meaning of nonsense like "Arabesque" (if there is one) is that life is inevitable and we shouldn't take it too seriously, it's going to take us in any case.

MTI:  Okay, on a totally unrelated note, if you could meet and talk with any one deceased person, who would it be?

ED:  Another trick question. In this harsh real world, I'd like to talk with the dead guy who hid the money from the Brinks robbery.

MTI:  Shifting back to your writing, can you tell us a little about what you're working on right now?

ED:  Just finished a (hopefully) funny piece about a troll child; starting on an article about salmon fishing in Quebec's Gaspe and a story about getting to have your death notice rewritten..

MTI:  Other than your piece appearing in To Hell with Dante, do you have any other stories being published in the near future?

ED:  Every once in awhile a clutch of my turkey eggs hatch at about the same time, and this is then.

The fairy tale for grandson Rhys went live on Bewildering Stories with a link to the Cast of Wonders podcast of the story. You go boy.
devilfishreview.com "Pest Hag"
4starstories.com "Care and Feeding"
Paranormal Horror II (Amazon) Succubus
Showcase/Rampant Loon (November) "Happily Ever After"
Grey Wolfe Story Book (print, launch Oct 22nd) Puzwuk

MTI:  On a lighter note, have you watched any good tv lately?

ED:  My definition of Good TV is gratuitous sex and violence. Thank God for cable.

MTI:  How about music?

ED:  I only listen to classical music, with a focus on Wagner's operas. Rap that sucka.

MTI:  What are your favorite movies?  You know, the ones that never get old.

ED:  Mostly fantasy. I still drop back into Conan the Barbarian so I can study Arnold's acting style.

MTI:  Of course, writers are some of the most voracious readers these days.  Tell me, have you run across any great pieces of literature lately?

ED:  I'm currently over-reading on Elmore Leonard.

MTI:  Yes, my father is a big Elmore Leonard fan!  Now, you have the attention of potential readers.  Do you have any words of wisdom to share with them, or possibly a sales pitch to encourage them to read more of your writing?

ED:  I don't pimp my stuff. If a reader likes my writing he'll read more of it. Having said that, I work at getting the stories reprinted once or twice so they're available from multiple sources.

MTI:  Of course, readers love free samples, so let's give them a taste.  Here are the first few paragraphs of your story, as featured in To Hell with Dante:

Gus retreated into meditation after a bad day of work and another argument with Cynthia.  He ignored the leg cramps his lotus position caused, and cleared his mind of everything except his focal point, a Philips head screw. He exterminated feeling and thought but couldn’t reach a higher state. Frustration began to chew on his tranquility.

            Maybe if I think myself forward in space or time? Or maybe if I visualize myself high above my body, looking down? But as soon as he tried for a spiritual destination his tranquility ruffled like windblown water.

            I need a nonsense thought to restore my oblivion. And from nowhere came a memory of a dance step he’d always thought of as hinky—feet close together, then swing the toes forty five degrees to the side and bring the heels up behind them, while slightly waggling his backside.

            Still kneeling in his lotus position, Gus visualized himself syncopating sideways. Toes and heels, toes and heels, nowhere to go but sideways. Toes and heels...

            And he slipped through a crease in the world.

            Gus snapped into full consciousness, but his body was nowhere to be seen. And  that was weird, because he had no eyes. Literally senseless, he somehow knew that he now looked like a slivered sheet of mica.  What the hell is going on? Where am I, no really, where’s my body? 

Many thanks to Ed Ahern for this interview.  Those who want to read the rest of his story, and many more, can pick up To Hell with Dante!