The Kirtons of Hampshire

 It’s been a long time since I wrote about my Kirton ancestry.  I have discovered a few things over the years, and continue to pick away at it, seeking to push back the line ever more.  Here is some information I’ve discovered since I wrote my Kirtons of Kentucky blog entry, 10 years ago.

The earliest ancestor I’ve identified thus far is William Kirton, born circa 1762.  He and his wife Elizabeth (maiden name currently unknown) lived in Hampshire county, England.  There they had a son, Richard Shaw Kirton, born 13 November 1794.  Richard was a shoemaker, so it’s possible that his father was, as well.

Richard Shaw Kirton married Elizabeth Carpenter on 26 April 1818 in Maryleborne, Middlesex, England. They had 4 daughters and a son that I’ve been able to uncover.

Elizabeth Kirton (born 21 July 1820, died 5 December 1822)

Sarah Kirton (born 19 January 1822)

Ann Kirton (born 5 July 1824)

Richard Thomas Kirton (my 4x great grandfather, born 4 July 1830, died 22 February 1910)

Louisa Kirton (born 1835)

I am not sure when the Kirtons moved from England to the United States, but I suspect it was around 1850. Richard Thomas Kirton married Ellen Hyler in 1854, and he and his father appear separately on the 1860 census.  Richard Shaw Kirton lived in Cincinnati, while his son settled in Covington, Kentucky, just across the state border.

By 1870, Richard Shaw Kirton was living with his daughter Louisa “Lucy” and her husband, Elttin Edgely, in Cincinnati, Ohio.  He was also living with them in 1880 according to the census.

Louisa and her husband had two known children, Elizabeth “Bessie” Edgely (born 1856) , and George Edgely (born 1858).  Bessie married Charles Roberts and had children, but more research is needed on those lines.

Richard Thomas Kirton and his wife Ellen had two sons, Nelson W. Kirton and Sidney Alfred Kirton, and from there we run into my column from 10 years ago, The Kirtons of Kentucky .

A few added details are that both Nelson and Sidney Kirton also worked as shoemakers.  I’m having a hard time figuring out when Nelson died, as he simply vanishes from records after the 1880’s.  His wife, Sarah Drusilla Wallwork, got remarried on 24 November 1892 to Jerome Boyd, so I suspect Nelson may have died before then.

Nelson’s two sons, Newton Charles and Sidney Alfred, both started working as train porters around 1900.  Newton (my great-great grandfather) worked his way up to Fireman by 1910, while Sidney ended up becoming a house servant before his death in 1932.

Where I Am Now

 I'm loath to write about myself these days, because to be perfectly honest, it's painful.  The last few years have taken a toll on me, and the past six months have tested and tortured me.  Some of it I brought on myself with poor decisions and allowing myself to be manipulated, though much of it has been beyond my control.

Each day is still a trial.  I am anxious and sad, but I never have the chance to work on it because there's a constant series of events that keep getting in the way, and I'm too busy trying to address everyone else's problems.

I get triggered all the time by people and what they say and how they say it, but I have to suck it up or let it go.  That's what a lot of people would say a man is supposed to do, and it's what those of us who don't live in ivy-league, rose-tinted luxury have no alternative but to do, but it can suck having to ignore my own emotional needs.  The people who care about me don't realize the full extent of what I'm going through, but most people don't care at all.

Exactly when can I stop hurting?  When do my mental needs become a priority.

I still have a family that keeps me going, but they all have issues that I'm dealing with.  My youngest daughter has a mental disorder that requires that she have constant supervision, my son has had issues with substance abuse, and my middle daughter has bouts of depression and anxiety.  My father is elderly and back to being a workaholic, but he is willing to help, though he gives a bit of attitude and gets pissy about it sometimes.  That in itself isn't helpful when I feel bad enough asking for help.  And on top of that, I have a serious, live-in girlfriend who has her own emotional problems from an abusive childhood.

I feel like I'm writing way too much, but I have to do something to get this garbage off my chest.

Physically, I'm not doing as well, either.  I hide how sick I feel, and I'm not sure how much of it is just psychosomatic and what is actually illness.  I've been feeling weaker than normal, exhausted, achy, and I've been forgetting things.  My left knee has been a concern but the doctors said it was just patellar tendinitis.  I've felt my heart rate and blood pressure going up which concerns me.  I get headaches frequently, and sometimes "aura" headaches, where I see a glow which leaves me unable to see for a few minutes (though this is nothing new and I've had them on and off for my entire adult life).

So forgive me if I'm getting a little tired of playing with the puzzle pieces of my life and wondering when I'll get a break.  I'm still here, and I'm doing my best, but I need people to help me and stop beating me down.  In time, I might finally get back to a place where I can enjoy living, though right now I have to wait, and work to make sure others can find some enjoyment out of my continued existence.