Eastport’s 4th of July Parade 2014: Calm Before the Storm

Well, this is well over a month late in posting, but the hurricane that hit Washington County on July 5th disrupted my schedule.  Better late than never, I guess.  So, without further delay, here is my annual recap of Eastport’s 4th of July parade.

The parade started like any other...

 Minnie Mouse has apparently joined the local fire department.

And here we see The Notorious S.P.O.N.G.E. and the insidious El-Moe.

It seems like every fire truck in the county is in this parade. Hate to have a house fire that day!

Biting your nails is a nasty habit there, Mickey.

Here comes another procession of Ambulances to squeal their sirens and terrorize sensitive ears.

 This goofball just ran up and hugged Tigger.  Only thing that could’ve been wackier is if I had done it... but that would just be wrong.

Sandwiched between fire trucks and ambulances is Big Bird.  Wyatt ran over and gave the bird a hug right after Kathryn.  Dang, that would be one big Thanksgiving feast there, wouldn’t it?  But I digress...

Here comes the honor guard, and there was a ship in port this year, so it’s a Navy parade.

Go sink the enemy, boys!

This year, we had 2 Mounties in the parade, hiding behind the US Coast Guard.

And now to the Republican contingent.  Here’s Chris Gardner’s spectacular 1952 Chevy Deluxe, plastered with campaign signs as usual.

State Rep. Beth Turner waves to the crowd, as State Rep. Joyce Maker looks for friendly faces.

Will Tuell for Legislature!

Burns... Excellent!

And here’s Barry Curtis.  He’s running for Sheriff.  Go Barry!

At last, the first batch of Pipers comes along.  Gotta get me one o’ the kilts!

The first Shriners we see are the Keystone Kops.  They’re always wild and wacky.

And we see the first batch of antiques.  Model T’s are neat.  That first one’s a 1923 in truly original condition.

Junior Dragster.  Okay...

Beauty pageant winners roll along in the back of trucks, followed by Shriner lobster boats.

That’s just such a happy picture!

Junior Miss 4th of July, with her bodyguard.

More Shriners.   Those guys sure do put on a show!

Love that Studebaker truck!  Old dodge right behind.

Finding his red suit to no longer be effective, Satan switches to yellow in a daring bid to claim new souls.

Oh, My God!  It’s land lobster!  Could it be the next “Sharknado?”  Giant mutant lobsters take to land to claw us to death.  You know SyFy is thinking about it!

Shriners trucks.  Bone crushing action!

Barbara’s International School of Dance had a somewhat diminished showing this year.  Not nearly as spectacular as past years.

200 years ago, the British captured Eastport.  That’s apparently something to “celebrate.”  Dirty Redcoats!

Luxor Flag Unit, followed by more beauty pageant winners & runners-up.

And here’s the entirety of the Democrat contingent at the parade.

Robbinston Grange float, followed by something truly weird.

Ahhhh!  What the hell is that?

Is that its spaceship?  WTF???

Y’all need a lift outta this madhouse?

Mooooore Pipahs!

Shead High Float

A photographer for a rival blog?  Get out of my shot!

Moose Island Trolley Tours, with the Shead class of ’59 aboard.

And here come more Shriners!  Love the ramp!

That is one nice looking Dodge station wagon.  I need one!

Yarr!  Here come the pirates!

Is it just me, or do these guys seem like sanitized Disney pirates.  Ye needs tae put on the grit and grime o’ the buccaneer life, ye bloody landlubbers!

And the end of the parade rolls on by.

Thus ended another interesting parade amidst the madness of Eastport’s 4th of July.  Little did anyone know the storm of the century was about to strike!  Where the hell was Biff Buffington on that one, eh?  So, until next year, this is your offbeat reporter, signing off.