Monday, June 13, 2011

Law Dwarf (Minstrel Mondays)

As we move closer to unveiling my much anticipated Fantasy Western serial, I'll be working up some interesting promotional material for your perusal.  The first such item is this little ditty I threw together, sort of a theme song for the upcoming saga.

Steel may be swift
But lead is deadlier
When the deputy comes to town
Boron Grimes, four foot zero
Sharpest eye in the West

His friends call him Ron
But his enemies call him nothing
After he's done them in
When challenged by scum
You know he's going to get him some blood

The elves may laugh at
The diminutive fellow
But not after tasting his aim
And all the ladies cry
Over the hairy little man
Who puts an end to their games
Their best clients lie dead in the cold, cold ground
For you know how the outlaw types
All like to streetwalking gals

Shoot 'em dead
As soon as they draw
But never without just cause
And when magic's involved
Grimes makes the call
To his boss, the warlock sheriff
James Doliber pinned the star
On the dwarf with the lethal revolver
He knows his own limitations

The antique Remington
Is the dwarf's weapon
A cap and ball design
Nobody laughs
that he hasn't updated
When he can part hairs at a thousand paces

Respected by the righteous
Feared by the rest
The notorious dwarf at high noon
You'd best take your leave
Of the criminal scene
Or the undertaker will be meeting you soon

The preferred handgun of Ron Grimes:
1858 Remington Army .44 Caliber


  1. That was awesome, Martin! I wish we could find a way to record this and have it play at the site when people visit the West of the Warlock page.

  2. 'And all the ladies cry
    Over the hairy little man
    Who puts an end to their games'

    That made me chuckle. I'm intrigued!