Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Bad Basketball Team Names

This post is meant to be tongue-in-cheek, so don't lynch me.  While attending some local basketball games, a few choice sports team names came to mind, things that could be kind of funny if viewed in a certain light.

The Reapers:  Perfect for farm-country, though with a dark side.  You could have the grim reaper as your mascot, flailing around a rubber scythe.  Plenty of jokes about "death comes for all who oppose," and such.  Just like the baseball team "The Braves" has the tomahawk chop, we could have the "reaper sweep."  So many possibilities.

The Shooters:  I'm sure there have been teams by this name, and maybe there still are some, though I suspect it's a name that'll be on the decline now with all the media nuts screaming about gun violence.    "You can't shoot baskets anymore, how barbaric!"  I'm sure the PC police are coming up with an alternative right now.  I guess they'll be "throwing" baskets, or "tossing" baskets.  No more shooting, that's for sure.  So, the "shooters" while a pretty innocuous name, is no longer acceptable.

The Bombers:  Okay, people of Princeton, pitchforks down, please.  It's nothing personal, but the name "Bombers" has always struck me as kind of erroneous.  The term "bomb" is often used to denote something that is a flop, or otherwise a failure.  Then again, there are those oddballs who talk all gansta-style saying things like "Dat movie is da bomb!" meaning "great," so who knows?  The team was named for military aircraft, so that angers the peace and love hippy-types, too.

On that note, how about a team called The Snipers?

The Weasels:  Blood sucking rodents, why not name your team after these furry little creatures?  They're just like ferrets, only less understood.

The Hamsters:  This would only work if coupled with the right town name, such as "The Hampton Hamsters" or "The Harvard Hamsters."

The Crackers:  The good old boys team.  It's okay to insult white folks, so why not?  Wait, how about The Honkies?  "Tonight, for one night only, the Harlem Globetrotters versus the Memphis Honkies!"  Nah, maybe not.


  1. Hysterical! The "reaper sweep"! Hahahaha. :)

  2. My high school's football team was called "The Parrots." Never thought it said much about the team ...

  3. These are hilarious! I love "The Harvard Hamsters"! :)

    Tales of a Pee Dee Mama

  4. I'm a cracker and a honky, and I can't jump. So roundball is out for me.