I still have firm beliefs. I know what is right, and what is wrong, though I have to wonder if doing the "right" thing is the right thing for me at this point. I have to question what benefit I'm getting out of it, or if I may even be working against my own self interest. Many of the things I stand up for hold no personal benefit for me, and are only done as a matter of principle, seeking to help others and shape society. Spending so much time fighting for what is right, I've found myself neglecting the people who are truly important to me, especially my family. Does that make it the right thing at all?
Another major issue is my introverted personality. I'm generally shy and can't stand being around strangers. Heck, there are even times I get uncomfortable talking to friends! Perhaps I understand the human heart a little too well, or I just have an overactive imagination. As Matthew Sweet once sang, "I don't like knowing people. I don't like people knowing about me." That's something of a stumbling block when it comes to my writing career, though I've been willing to step out of my comfort zone when it comes to that, and stick my face into public view when necessary.
It's time to assess my limitations. There is only so much emotional strain I can subject myself to, and now that my "side" seems to be scoring some points, it may be time for me to back off and let others take their turn on the intellectual battlefield.
I'm not a quitter, and there are people counting on me, so I won't drop out entirely. Though, there is only so much I can do. I can't be a selfless warrior like the Founding Fathers were, sacrificing life and limb for a noble cause. While I can't sit by and do nothing while everything I care about slips away, I'm not going to stick my neck out so readily anymore. Most of my energy is going to be diverted to my burgeoning writing career, and the physical labor I must perform to make ends meet. If something particularly important comes up, I'll still be here, but it's time to recharge and get ready for bigger and better things.
As a parting thought: With rare exception, none of my so-called allies have given any support to my writing career. Straw...camel's back, anyone? I'm tired.